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Travelling Tuvalu

Updated: Jun 24, 2023

Tuvalu - Gallery

Tuvalu, formerly known as the Ellice Islands, is a Polynesian island nation located in the Pacific Ocean, about midway between Hawaii and Australia. It comprises three reef islands and six true atolls. Tuvalu, a former British colony, has a population of 10,640. Situated in Oceania, the total land area of the islands of Tuvalu is 26 square kilometres (10 sq mi). Wiki.

I am in Funafuti, the capital, where less than 1,000 people live. I thought that the place where I stayed in Vanuatu, Vila Chaumieres, with its 5 guest chalets lying amongst beautiful flowers and trees beside a winding green river, was a sleepy but charming little backwater. It feels like a hive of activity, the essence of sophistication and the epitome of world class service, compared to the place I am staying in now.

I dithered a long time over whether to include Tuvalu in this trip, given that it was a very costly and time-consuming detour, necessitating hotel stays in Fiji on both the way there and the way back. There are only two flights a week which land here, so the only options are to stay for two nights or five nights. Given the effort and expense of getting here, I unfortunately opted to get my money’s worth and stay for five nights. This was a definite mistake. 2 nights would have more than sufficed and I could have fitted in Samoa then too.

After booking my flights with Fiji Airways, I tried to book hotel accommodation. I tried Trip Adviser, Expedia, Hotels.Com, Booking.com etc. All of them told me “There is no accommodation available for your selected dates!”. Aargh!

Eventually one site, I think it was Agoda, came up with “one room remaining” at L’s Lodge. It had a shared bathroom. Yuk. In desperation, I booked it anyway, vowing to keep checking the other sites for cancellations. Meanwhile, I emailed L’s Lodge to ask that, if they had any cancellations meaning that a room with an en suite came free, I would like to upgrade, as I really didn’t want to share a bathroom. I also gave them my flight details and asked them to arrange my airport transfers. The next morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see a prompt response confirming that I had been upgraded to a room with an en suite and that I would be met on arrival at the airport. This gave me a false impression of efficiency and good service!

The Lodge is located in the middle of a shabby, poor and rundown residential district. But all residential districts here are like that. It is a two story house which has been altered to create 8 guest rooms and a basic upstairs lounge/dining area with a kitchenette. The website says it has a restaurant and a bar and a fitness centre. Hah! There is no restaurant. I was told a continental breakfast would be available in the upstairs dining area and I could have bacon and eggs for an extra AUD8. I asked where I should have lunch and dinner and was told I would need to go out to a restaurant. Okay, so where’s the bar? The woman at reception (a dark little cubby hole with one table with a computer and another with a few toiletries and woven baskets and souvenirs) looked baffled. We don’t have a bar, she said. Well your website says you have a bar, so where is it? She looked rather doubtfully at a partially ripped open case of warm beers and a case of Coke on the floor beside her. Well, I could sell you some beer or Coke and you can put it in the fridge in your room? Right.

The fitness centre is a couple of benches and a few weights outside on the ground floor terrace.

I took a tour of the island with Rosie. She said there would be a charge for this of AUD20. Fine.

Tuvalu is not dissimilar to Kiribati. It is maybe, overall, a few rungs up the ladder in terms of poverty, but there’s not much in it. As in Kiribati, the land is a long strip with a calm lagoon on one side and the roaring ocean breakers on the other. In the narrowest part, maybe only 20’ wide, you can see the water on both sides. The houses were all tatty and higgledy piggledy. Lots of rusted old cars and motorbikes and general tat strewn around. More ubiquitous rusting sea containers. More hammocks than anywhere else so far, slung invitingly between palm trees and on shady porches. Also large family-sized hammocks-rather nice to picture everyone climbing in and snuggling up lazily together. As the heat of midday approached, the hammocks were gradually filling up. There were no landmarks, monuments or anything of interest to see. Even with me asking Rosie to stop every five minutes to get out and take snaps of boats, fishing nets, hammocks, cemeteries, palm trees etc, we had been to one end of the island, turned around and driven to the other end of the island, in just over an hour. I suggested we go for a drink somewhere so Rosie drove to the Funafuti Lagoon Hotel, which is the only place on the island resembling a proper purpose-built hotel. Unfortunately, it old and dilapidated and seemed to be only partially still in use. It was once beside the lagoon, when sitting on its outside terrace must have been quite pleasant. But the Government has reclaimed some land beside the hotel and is building some fancy Government accommodation. So a building site, hoardings and a high chain link fence now separate the hotel from the water.

We ate red pork with fried rice and they served glasses of boxed white wine.

I asked if there were any excursions or other things to do on the island and Rosie said no. I said that I thought I should just be able to access the marine conservation area from the shore on the main island to go snorkelling and asked her to show me where it was. But she explained that I would need to hire a boat for the day, at a cost of $150 and pay a $50 fee to enter the conservation area. She would also have to go to the Government offices and arrange a special license for me. So it didn’t look as though that was likely to happen. I asked about going to the other islands, but she said they were only accessible by boat and it was uncertain when any boat might return-it was a seven hour trip to the nearest island and the boat might might not come back to Funafuti for a week or a month, depending on its passengers and cargo, the weather and what work it had. So that’s a non-starter. So I have already “done” Tuvalu.

I asked about other restaurants but Rosie said that they were both (!) terrible and she would only eat at the Lagoon. The problem is that it would be too far for me to walk and there are no taxis on the island or busses. If I don’t want to walk, then my only option is to hire a car or motorbike if any are available and that would be expensive. Oh well, I could certainly do with losing some weight!

We returned to the Lodge and went to reception as I had to sign for my trip. The receptionist was on the phone to the owner of the Lodge and was looking worried. She put her hand over the receiver and spoke in the local patois to Rosie, who also looked worried. The owner was saying I must pay $60 for my “island tour” instead of $20. Natch I went ballistic. Not only was the tour not worth $60, but it was simply not acceptable to change the price after I have agreed it in advance and already taken the trip. Rosie spoke to him and he backed down, with a reluctant apology.

I was furious though. The facilities here are misrepresented on the website, I was annoyed about the attempted change of trip price, the only half-way decent restaurant (and, despite Rosie’s enthusiasm, it is barely mediocre) is too far for me to walk to and there is nothing to do here. I decided to try and leave early. I went and found Rosie and asked her to call Fiji Air for me to try and change my flight. She rang but no-one was answering. She took my ticket and passport and said she would be passing the travel office later and would go in and try and arrange it. Fingers crossed.....



Tuvalu Tedium

I decided to go and walk to the lagoon a little later to see if it looked like a good place for snorkelling. With the owner’s attempted trip fee heist still rankling, I left the a/c on in my room when I went out, out of badness (as my mother would have said) to spite him. Petty, I know. Guilty.

I wandered through the cluttered, closely-packed shabby houses. Junk was everywhere in the form of rusting cars and motorbikes, rusting old sea containers, household waste. Washing strewn on the grass to dry. Pigs, dogs, cats and roosters were all wandering around. The people all seemed friendly, if somewhat bemused to see a white woman hobbling with a walking stick through their back yards or past their front porches. No-one objected when I asked if I could take a picture, and most of them posed happily. They seem a gentle, friendly bunch and I felt very safe exploring on my own. Rosie had said there is virtually no crime on the island, as everyone knows everyone else. Most people leave their homes unlocked. There is one prison on the island, but it has less than ten prisoners. Most of the prisoners are only there because they can’t afford to pay fines for speeding or drunk and disorderly or the like.

The nearest part of the lagoon I reached was inaccessible due to rocks and a sea wall, but I could see that it looked like there was easier access further along. I meandered between the homes and through the rubbish and clutter some more, until I got to some sandy beach. The kids had obviously finished school for the day and many of them were frolicking in the water. I could see some dark patches a little way out but couldn’t tell whether it was promising coral, which would be good for snorkelling, or just seagrass and seaweed, perhaps I could explore that tomorrow.

By the time I had walked back to the lodge, my knees were screaming and I could hardly get upstairs. The communal tv wasn’t working, the internet wasn’t working, I couldn’t walk to the restaurant for dinner so there would be none and my book wasn’t going to last until the end of my stay here. The marine conservation area sounds impossible to arrange and there is nothing else to see, so I will go nuts here.

I went down to reception and luckily ran into Rosie who had just got back from the airline office attempting to try and change my flight for me.

Unfortunately she returned with the grim news that the flight was full, with a long waiting list already of people hoping for cancellations. Aargh! I was exasperated. Trapped. Okay, so are we still going to the souvenir shop at 7.00? Well. Perhaps we could do that tomorrow instead? What the heck,it’s not as though I will have anything else to do tomorrow.

Breakfast next morning at 8.00 after a sleepless night finishing my book and trying in vain to get onto the Internet. Rosie came in and I asked for bacon and eggs, as I hadn’t eaten since an early lunch the day before. No bacon. She would go and get some. I also asked her to call and check in the flight situation again, just in case, and she promised she would. But I don’t think she did. I tried to put the news on, but the tv still wasn’t working.

About an hour later Rosie reappeared with bacon and I complained about the tv. She said the card needed topping up and she would go and remind the owner to do it. Still no proper internet. Managed to get one or two comments on FB, but couldn’t do my post on Fiji or send any pics or open most of the sites I tried. I bit the bullet and asked R if she could arrange the marine conservation area snorkelling trip for me. She said she’d try and arrange it for tomorrow.

Two hours and numerous reminders later and still no tv. I repaired to my room and cranked up the ac. My right knee is killing me from walking too far yesterday, so I don’t feel like going back to the lagoon to try the snorkelling. I am waiting for them to put the tv back on (sad, I know) and to hear about the boat trip tomorrow. The American couple have already left on this morning’s flight. Wish I had done the same.

So I did virtually nothing that day except watch really rubbish tv when it finally came back on, struggle with the internet and doze in the heat.

Finally, came some good news. R had sort of arranged the boat trip for tomorrow. The people who ran the marine conservation area boat were having a training session in the morning, so couldn’t take me till after 11.00. Did I still want to go? Yes, I said, as long as we left promptly after 11.00. I wasn’t forking out $150 for a boat and $50 for the entry permit if we didn’t leave until after lunch and had to come back at 4.00! She said they would ring this afternoon before their office closed at 4.00 to confirm the timing.

I asked about the boat. Did it have a cover or roof for some shade? No. I had visions of me being burnt to a crisp.

What about cold drinks etc. Were they included? No. They’re not used to catering for tourists. Nothing is included except the boat. So I said I would need to borrow a cool box and someone would have to take me to the supermarket to get some cold drinks and ice in the morning. R looked as though the thought of managing all these logistics was just beyond her. She dashed off on some urgent errand. Of course the boat people never called before 4.00 as promised to confirm the time.

That night the heavens opened and water poured forth. Bucket loads, gallons, bathtubs full, Olympic sized swimming pools full. It sloshed and bounced and jumped and hammered and tattooed on the corrugated iron roofs and roared down gutters and spurted into overflowing water butts.

In the morning, it was still pouring down. Whilst I hadn’t relished the prospect of being burnt to a piece of charcoal, neither did I find the idea of spending a few hours on a small open boat with the rain drenching me and dripping down my face very appealing. R arrived, looking indecisive. Did I still want to go? The rain was forecast to continue all day. Reluctantly I concluded that no, I just didn’t feel like going in that weather.

So I sat and watched tv instead . Of course then the rain stopped and the sun came out and it was a glorious day and I wished I had gone.

Instead, I walked to the lagoon and went in with my snorkel and GoPro. Waste of time. All the dark patches were just weed. There were some fish but no coral and nothing exciting enough to make me switch my camera on.

So I went back to the Lodge and watched tv and wrestled with the internet.

So that was it. R took me out to the Lagoon for dinner on Friday night. I met a nice old guy with a flower garland on his head and his sunglasses perched on top of that, who had been elected chief of the island four times. He had been chief when Will and Kate visited in 2012. I bet they didn’t stay at L’s Lodge. I bet they didn’t stay at all. No doubt just hopped on and off a small jet. We passed a nightclub on the way home, where R was going to dance later. A small single storey breezeblock shack on some wasteland with a few coloured lights showing and music pumping out. If it weren’t for some mean looking dudes leaning with their backs against the wall outside, it could have given your average UK school disco a run for its money.

I got back to find there was no water at the Lodge. There’s only ever cold water in the bathroom anyway for showers etc. No hot. But not even cold any more. The maintenance man got the rough edge of my tongue when he knocked on my door and woke me up at 9.45 p.m. to ask if he could come and check if it was all working again!

And this morning I left.

So that was my visit to Tuvalu. Thank you to those of you who have emailed and messaged me to express your sympathy and told me it would soon be alright when I moved to the next island. But actually, everything was alright just as it was. The purpose of travelling, as opposed to going on holiday, is to see and experience these places for myself. If I wanted to lie on a beach or beside a pool and be served ice cold cocktails all day, then I can think of no better place to do that than at home in Dubai. Yes I have whinged about it while I was there, but then I had very little else to do. Now I am pleased to have been to a place that most people will never get to see, and of course I hear you all chorusing “and we wouldn’t want to”. But you see I love going to new places. Now I SEEN it for myself. I have EXPERIENCED life there and seen the way people live and how they dress and how smiley and gentle and helpful most of them are. So my trip to Tuvalu, if not the most exciting part of this odyssey, was just fine and just the way it was meant to be.

That said, I am loving being back in Fiji with really good internet! Hence my verbal diarrhea tonight and boy am I looking forward to getting to New Caledonia tomorrow. Just a pity that it will be my last new country on this tour. But, of course, I’m already planning the next one

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